Well after over 15 years of not having a driver’s license, my husband is in the process of getting his license back. He has a permit now and is taking his driving test shortly. As you know, we bought the too much too far house and the gas price just keeps climbing and climbing and we just can’t afford for me to drive him to work and go back after him so that leaves few alternatives. There are no jobs that he could try for that are closer so that we can keep the driving situation the way it is. In short, there is no choice but for him to get his license back despite that he doesn’t WANT to drive and I don’t WANT to not drive him.

This change has more ramifications for me than it does for my husband really. He doesn’t want to drive because of medical concerns and I understand that; however, that is just paranoia in many ways or I should say fear really. He’s afraid something may happen while he is driving that will cause him to have an accident and that is legitimate but avoidable as long as he keeps taking his medicine. For me though, this change means that I will rarely get out of the house and that is a bad thing for me. Because my job is just minimal part time, I have no need to go anywhere if not to drive him. Sure, I’d LIKE to go but that would defeat the purpose of him going through all this to get his license. More than that though is that I feel that I will no longer be needed. I know I won’t be actually. My husband won’t need me to drive hi many more, he doesn’t need me to do anything. I’ll just be a nuisance more than anything. To this point, I have felt I had a lot of value because I was the chauffeur and doing that gave me a sense of worth and also allowed me to be involved in life. Once he gets his license, I won’t have any of that any more. In fact, I feel like my reason for existing will pretty much have gone out the window. I won’t have anything important to do.

It’s not like there’s an alternative, there isn’t. Even if gas were to go way down in price, once he has his license there would be no point in him not driving himself. The whole thing puts me at a loss. Even though I am totally on board with him getting his license (and pushed him to do it) it creates a lot of emotional issues (more) for me. God knows, I already have enough emotional issues without there being more but yet, here we are.

The whole thing sucks. It’s a big conundrum and I’m left with emotional fallout.

I don’t think so and I’ll explain why.

When I was a kid I had 2 friends that would have to get something either the same or like what I had. As a spoiled a child, I generally got the newest things first and my friends would then have to have them too. It always bothered me when this happened, I never understood why they had to copy me. Why it wasn’t good enough that I had whatever it was I don’t know but it was an annoyance.

Now let’s fast forward to adulthood where, as the word ADULThood implies, adults aren’t suppose to have the childish need to copy others. Once again, my mother-in-law missed this memo.

She is awful about copying to the point that she named her daughter the same name–first and middle–as her cousin’s daughter. This is not flattery, it is just another demonstration of how sad and immature my mother-in-law is. Even now, at age 64 she continues to copy what others have. Believe me, I am not exaggerating this at all.

One of the things she does is at Christmas……..she will drag you around her house showing you all of the new things she has gotten and it goes something like this. See my doll, I got TT one of these for Christmas. See my wall hanging, I got one of those for HTT for Christmas. See my shirt, I got one of these for my sister for Christmas and on and on and one. Anything she gets for me, she also gets one for herself. She is not content to give you whatever it is, she has to have one too. Also, anything that one of use may like, she then has to collect too in order to copy us. For example, I like hummingbirds so all of a sudden she has a bunch of hummingbird stuff. HTT likes southwestern things and Indian dolls so the mother-in-law now has a load of that type of thing. TT likes cows so can you guess that she has to have a bunch of cow stuff too. And don’t think it’s just small things she does this with–it’s not, there’s more yet. I have always had a house dog and so has her daughter so she had to get a house dog too. I have house cats, she had to get a house cat too. Her daughter has a 4 wheeler, she got one too. Her son got a new pickup, she got one too. It’s rampant!

I have Direct TV and so does she. When we moved, I got the DVR. I have given my husband explicit instructions not to tell his mother we have DVR because I know that she will have to have it too and I don’t want to have to be on the phone with her hours a day telling her how to work it. I would dearly love to have a gazebo outside but even if I could afford one, I wouldn’t get it because I KNOW that within a week, she’d have one too. It’s gotten that bad. I don’t tell her anything I might buy and rarely let her come to my house because I know she’ll copy anything I have.

It’s what she does. It’s just to sad.

There are times when I see something at someone’s house that I would like, I’m sure we all do and we may get one because it’s a nice thing but to go to such excesses is just so childish and so immature. I mean really–to go so far as to name your child the same name as someone else’s………OH MY GOD. Sometimes I think that I should start going to a psychiatrist so she’d copy me and go too–god knows she needs it!

This is not the first time that this thing has happened to me but I can tell you that it will be THE LAST!

Yes, I am married but when I got married I didn’t change my fucking name to “Mrs.”. I am my own person with my own identity, income, social security number, driver’s license, credit cards, job, etc etc etc.

Why in the fuck, in this day and age, do companies think that just because you’re married your husband’s name has to come first on a bill or in fact be there AT ALL???

I just got propane gas hooked up a couple of months ago and had to call for the first time to get my tank filled. When I called to set up this service, I gave all of MY information. Name, social, etc. When they set the propane tank, it just happened that my husband was home and signed off on all of the safety BS the delivery guy had to have signed. At NO TIME did I give the company my husband’s name.

Yesterday when I called for delivery, I gave the woman my name and she was obviously looking it up and then asked where I lived and I told her and then she proceeds to say is that under ________ (my husband’s name). I said NO–KELLY. She said oh, we have it listed as his name “and Kelly” like I’m some fucking afterthought. These people obviously put his name in only because he signed off on the safety information. For all they fucking know we could be brother and sister yet they took it upon themselves to put his name on the account and FIRST to boot! This just pisses me off so bad I could spit! There is no reason they need his name on the account let alone having it on there FIRST.

These fuckers need to get with the times! Yeah, yeah, it’s Wisconsin, it’s all 50/50 anyway in terms of liability for the bill so why the fuck do these dark ages bastards think they have to list a man’s name on the bill! This is total bullshit!!

This happened to me with the phone company when I got married . I had phone service in MY NAME at the same place for over 15 years when I got married. All I wanted to do was change my name and have my husband’s name added for the directory. LOW AND BEHOLD the first time the bill comes after this, it’s in HIS NAME “and Kelly”. HELLO YOU ARCHAIC FUCKS–it had been MY fucking phone in MY fucking house for over 15 years and now just because I’m married you think that HIS NAME has to come first or be on the bill?! I don’t fucking think so! I called the bastards and made them change it to KELLY “and my husband”. The woman tried to tell me it didn’t matter but let me tell you something–after the tirade I let loose on her she soon learned, it does fucking matter if I say it does!

ROTTEN FUCKERS get out of the fucking dark ages!

Having to do everything alone really sucks especially when you have a husband who is suppose to (I think) do things with you. My husband works night but he’s off for 5 days now and here I sit with him snoring away at 6:30. Normally he would be working so why the fuck does he think he needs to be snoozing away now?! Maybe I would like just a little tiny bit of attention but NOOOOOOOO. God forbid we’d do anything, even play a fucking game of cards. Instead I have to sit here listening ot him snore away and then tomorrow I have to be tortured by going to his family’s Thanksgiving and listening to his fucking mother. I’m not sure which is more annoying but I do know that I am getting sick to death of being married to a dead fish who never wants to do anything together.  It’s like pulling teeth just to get him to go grocery shopping!!!