Guess who called?!

Yep, the mother-in-law. What’s the gripe today? Well, she’s having problems with her truck and so and so says it should be covered under the lemon law and she should be given a new truck and oh my god and blah blah blah. I said you know what, been there, done that–it’s a load of shit–I had a new vehicle that had nothing but problems from day one and could not get my vehicle covered under the lemon law so good luck with that, yours had 5 times as many miles as mind did. If I couldn’t get anywhere when I had legitimate problems you’re sure not going to but go ahead.

As usual though, the instant you tell her something she doesn’t want to hear, she changes the subject.

I have a new plan where’s she’s concerned–I’m just not answering the phone any more. I can’t stand it!

Yesterday was my sister’s birthday so I waited until evening to call and say happy birthday. I didn’t want to bother her at work or I would have called during the day. Seems I shouldn’t have bothered to call at all.

Evidently she was watching the evening news and it was far more scintillating than my conversation. She wasn’t saying anything and since we were both on cell phones I said, did I lose you? She says what…….oh, no, I was watching the news.

(insert sad face)

I had to call my MIL today to look up something in the local newspaper for me. I kid you not, she did not say hello or anything she immediately cut in bitching about her drunken son and how he’d called her and put her in the middle between him and one of the other brothers and on and on.

Finally I interrupted her and said HEY–look in the paper and find me this. I was just as unpleasant as she was.

OMG
LOL

I didn’t post this right away because I haven’t been able to type much since I hurt my arm and sprained my hand when I fell a couple weeks ago. I’m doing better now and ready to tell you about this one.

On Friday, December 21, my MIL called me crying because her bank called to tell her she was overdrawn and she didn’t know why and on and on and on. She said the bank couldn’t help her with her checkbook until the 26th and she didn’t know what she was going to do and oh my god could I come and help her with her checkbook. Although I absolutely didn’t WANT to do this, I did want a semi-peaceful Christmas so I agreed to go and try to figure out her mess. As I walked in the door of her house, I see that she bought a brand new 32″ LCD TV (she just got a new TV last year) and she also has a brand new LCD TV in her kitchen too. Well….is it any wonder she has money problems? Fuck no!

I spent 4 hours with her sitting over top of me whining that the bank was fucking her over as I was recalculating her checkbook. What I learned by going through only 4 months of her checkbook was truly amazing. One thing I found is that the woman cannot do math. She had swings (errors) of up to $500 in some places where she’d just simply fucked up the math. The other problem I found is that she doesn’t write down half of her debit card transactions. It’s no wonder her checkbook is a fucking disaster. Now, there is more (as if there wouldn’t be) but I first want to say that back at the end of September, my MIL has this same problem. She was overdrawn, her checkbook was a disaster and the bank went through and tried to fix it for her and started her with a fresh check register and what they thought was a clean balance.

Well, I worked and worked and tried to fix things while she stood over me harping about being broke and crying because she can’t live on only her social security. YEAH RIGHT. OH MY GOD! The amount of money this woman has spent in the last 2 years on nothing but pure SHIT is astounding. She has literally blown through over $80,000 (yes EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS) in 2 years. You wouldn’t believe her checkbook and the money she’s spent. Restaurant after restaurant, gas up the wazoo because all she does is run the roads, shit at craft fair after craft fair, clothes she doesn’t even wear, knick knacks she doesn’t have out because she has no room, more lawn ornaments and lawn furniture even though her yard looks like shit because of the over 50 lawn ornaments she has now, and tons of money spent on her sisters to show off. She and her one sister go to lunch every Friday–I see now why her sister goes–MIL pays for it every fucking time obviously. What my MIL doesn’t realize is that when her money is gone, her family won’t act like her best friends any more (which she deserves IMO).

By the time we (hubby was with me) left that day, we thought we had her into the realization that A. HER MATH SUCKS and B. SHE CANNOT SPEND SPEND SPEND. Yeah right again. Just so happens that on Christmas eve, her dad (yeah, he’s alive yet) gave her a gift of $5000. She made it a point to brag to all of us at Christmas about this and now she would be ok for a while(?!) with money.

On the 26th, I talked to my dear MIL and she was on already about shopping and I simply said to her…..remember, no more frills (the understanding she had with my husband on the 21st). WELL–I got my fucking head bit off and I was told IT’S MY MONEY AND I’LL DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT.

Well lemmetellyasomethin………this is the LAST time that will ever happen because the first time she whines to me about money again, she is getting a fucking ear full.

I was pissed when she told me off and I’m still pissed now to think that I took the time to go help her out and then she turns around and acts like that. It won’t be long until she’s overdrawn again and calls me crying to fix her checkbook. NOT HAPPENING! I don’t know where she thinks money comes from but I’ll tell you now, this woman needs an intervention. She just can’t help herself but to spend money and I don’t know what she thinks she’s going to do now that she’s got herself broke. She doesn’t have health insurance of any kind and has no contingency whatsoever for emergencies. She is so obsessed with material possessions that she will go out on the worst days in the blinding snow to go to fucking Wal-Mart to spend money on shit she doesn’t need. It’s nuts.

All I know is that when she cries to me again about money, she’s not going to like the response.

I have to be fair and say it was not too bad at my MIL’s this year. She was fairly calm (probably because she wasn’t drinking and her mother wasn’t there).

We had a decent time, the gifts were good too. For once I didn’t get 50 knick knacks I have nowhere to put!! I got useful things so I’m happy about that. All in all, it was ok.

ON THE OTHER HAND……….

MY family wins the dysfunctional fucked up Christmas award this year courtesy of my niece. For whatever reason she threw a fit as we were about to open gifts and my brother insisted on bitching at her making matters worse. She went outside to her car and pouted for an hour or so and was totally unbearable when she came back in. She sat pouting like a jackass in one room while my brother did the same in a different room. Needless to say, I made a hasty exit shortly after. I wasn’t going to sit and watch her being a stupid bitch and I wasn’t going to sit and watch my brother being put out about her being a stupid bitch. It was disappointing; I usually quite enjoy Christmas at my brothers.

As the saying goes, you always hurt the one you love. My niece must love her dad a lot because she really hurt him today by throwing a childish tantrum and calling him names as she stomped off.

Well now here’s a shocker!

A few weeks ago my 25 year old niece decided that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and left her husband and children for another guy. Although I can’t stand her husband, I don’t condone what she did. If she wanted to leave him, that’s fine but don’t fill your bed first and then decide to leave!

Anyway, after a few weeks of being with this other guy, it has all gone south and now she wants to go back to her husband. He told her no. GOOD FOR HIM, I hope he sticks to it! From what I gather, he was totally blindsided by this whole thing anyway–she just started going out drinking with “friends” and one thing led to another.

People who do this piss me off to no end. It’s just so wrong!

Of course my brother has been in the middle of the whole thing because he has major control issues where his daughter is concerned and because her husband drags my brother into their problems as well. I know my brother has been pretty depressed about the whole thing and he says that his Christmas ruined because of all this.

I guess my niece should have stayed with her husband and kept her legs closed but it’s a little late for that now. She’s upset her whole family for a different piece of ass for a few weeks. I sure hope it was worth it.

Well, I made it (barely) through thanksgiving with my husband’s family.

His mother was of course annoying as hell. She has a new habit and after about the 15th time of her doing this, I tried to curtail it but of course she’s clueless.

Her youngest grandson (the one she basically raises and supports) was there and she kept picking him up and saying over and over and over to him I love you, I love you, I love you. It was incessant and annoying not to mention immature and stupid. He’s one, he doesn’t know what the fuck she’s saying.

Anyway, after about the 5th time she did this, I look at my husband and said your mother loves you and it just happened to be that I said this at the same time she told the baby he was beautiful. So I said to my husband AND she thinks you’re beautiful. She really didn’t get it though my SIL (sister-in-law) did and tried hard not to giggle aloud.

Later on, she was holding the baby and started it over again saying to him I love you, you’re my baby so I said I said to my SIL, your mother loves you (she is the baby of the family). My mother-in-law says to me, you asshole, I was talking to the baby. I said I know–she’s your baby, he is HER baby. CLUELESS!!!!!

Beyond that, I jut ignore the selfish bitch as she kept saying to all of us see my new nativity set, see my new cabinet, see my new this, see my new that. UGH

The holidays are fast approaching and I can certainly tell it by my mood and attitude. I hate the holidays! It isn’t even just hate really. It’s the most superlative form of dread. Thanksgiving will be the same as it always is. With my family it will be just as dysfunctional as always with my brother and me going to the nursing home to see our mom for 45 minutes and eat lunch with her. My brother’s wife will be there, shooting me evil looks and being the bitch that she is, as usual. At my in-laws it will also be the same with my mother-in-law drinking beer after beer and shooting her mouth off about herself and her latest money spending exploits. You know, the usual……bitch brag and mememe……..

And should we even go there with Christmas. Again, pure dysfunction. My family will all be squished into my brother’s tiny house with children who have no manners whatsoever. My brother and his wife will argue AS ALWAYS with one of them storming off and pouting AS ALWAYS with the rest of us looking puzzled and feeling like shit.

At the in-laws it will be the same as Thanksgiving……..my mother-in-law drinking and talking about herself. And to make it even better, there will the be gifts at the in-laws where the mother-in-law will buy over $400 worth of things for her son-in-law while giving her son (my husband) $30 worth of crap AS ALWAYS. And if we’re really lucky, we’ll get the drunken brother-in-law too……the guy who (according to his wife TT) doesn’t have a drinking problem, he has panic attacks. YEAH RIGHT……..he can’t go anywhere without a cooler of beer he’s such a drunk and she is nothing but an enabler to buys him the beer and then has the colossal gall to lie and say he doesn’t have a drinking problem. Sounds like real fun doesn’t it?! We of course will also have to have HTT acting like she runs the place as usual too, god forbid we’d get away with out.

It’s no wonder that I get even more pissy at this time of the year. I just can’t stand it any more and I can’t get away from it unless I happen to be really, really sick in-the-hospital sick and then the fuckers would probably come to the hospital just to make me miserable.

Holidays suck and I am not a bit surprised about the high suicide rate at this time of year.

Sometimes my brother makes me realize how much we can be alike

This guy would bitch if his ice cream was too cold! His wife is rarely home and I understand that for him that’s a bad situation. I think she’s a bitch and the more she was away from me, the better I’d like it but that’s me.

One of the complaints my brother frequently has (he can be a Neanderthal thinker sometimes) is that his wife doesn’t get home at meal time to cook the meal. My response to this is always–make your own–but as much as we are different my brother and I are alike and he would rather bitch about her not being there to do it than do it himself.

Yesterday he sent me an email complaining that his wife was cooking supper and moaned that it was hamburgers again and that hamburgers is all she makes anymore as this would make the 3rd time in a week she made hamburgers and he added that he must not be worth a better effort.

Well bitch bitch bitch……she’s there making something which he complains she rarely does and NOW he’s complaining about what she makes! I sent him an email telling him he’d d bitch if his ice cream was too cold.

You can’t have it both ways. If you don’t like what she makes, make something yourself! I have known of many times though that my brother has sat waiting for 2 hours or more for her to come home and make supper rather than just making something for himself all the time grumbling that she’s not there to do it.

Sometimes he just makes me laugh.

Not that I “care” per say about what my brother does with his dog but this is just one example of how anal my brother can be and a good case of “throwing the baby out with the bath water”.

My brother’s neighbor has called the police twice in recent months about my brother’s dog barking during the day because this particular neighbor sleeps during the day. The first time this happened, my brother wasn’t too concerned but now that it has happened again his solution was/is to post his dog to give away on freecycle.

How do I say this delicately? Well, I don’t! STUPID FUCKER!!! The LAST thing I would do would be to try to give away my 12 year old dog. His 2nd alternative is to put the dog down. Again I say STUPID FUCKER! The dog is healthy and has been with the family since he was a pup. There ARE alternatives to either of the stupid methods my brother has come up with. One would be to BUILD A FENCE so that the noise of the dog would be less likely to disturb the neighbor. If nothing else, it would show the neighbor that he is at least making an effort and she may shut the fuck up about the dog barking. Another alternative would be to move the dog to another location in the yard–I know he has other places to put him but noooooooooooo………we should get rid of the dog. STUPID STUPID STUPID. The true solution would have been to have trained the dog in the first place NOT to bark all the damn time but seeing that he didn’t do that and the dog is 12 it’s probably a bit late for that now.

Maybe I just think my brothers solutions are asinine because I love animals a lot more than I do people and when I have a pet, it is for life–theirs or mine even if I dislike the animal–and I would never, ever get rid of one for something as petty as my neighbor calling 911 when the damn dog barks. I’d get rid of the fucking neighbor first but that’s just me.