So I’m driving down the road in my own lane for once and this chick (BLONDE) comes flying over the hill on the wrong side of the road.  I start to veer right thinking she soon would correct but NOOOOOOOO she just kept coming at me.  Thankfully there was actually some shoulder for me to get onto!  She looked up and swerved back at the last instant.

I got even though.  I know who this girl is–not by name–I just know she use to go with someone I worked with and I know her car because he did all the decal work on it.  I went and put a nice note in her car (not locked) telling her what I thought of her attempt to KILL ME!

If you’re not on icy or snowy roads and there is NO traffic and you’re not going to go the fucking speed limit then get the fuck out of the way!

OMG I am so sick of slow fucking people! Stupid fuckers are in front of you in town in a 35 zone and the rotten fuckers are going 20! Then they’re looking in their rear view mirror and glaring at you because you’re practically pushing their fucking piece of shit down the road with your car. WHAT THE FUCK–speed your ass up you slow fucker! Don’t make me have to fucking explain what a god damn speedometer is and how it works!

Ok fuckers

If you can smoke those stinking cigarettes in your car and film up your car windows by doing so then WHY can you not extinguish the thing in your stinky car?? Why do you fucking smokers think that you need to chuck your cigarette butts out the car window???? Not only is this fucking rude but it’s also disgusting.

How about I start going down the road and start chucking smelly crap out the car window in front of you?

AND ANOTHER THING–why do you stinky fucking smokers think that you have to drive with your car window down a little crack all year round? If you can’t stand the smell you’re creating then quit smoking, otherwise leave your fucking window up! I shouldn’t have to follow behind you smelling your fucking cigarette stink!

Why don’t you rotten fuckers keep your butts and your stink to yourselves!

What is with you stupid fuckers who don’t know how to dim your headlights?

Sure your headlights may come on automatically but they DO NOT dim automatically. YOU need to figure out how your headlights work and use them properly! I am so sick of people that never dim their headlights and blind me! I’m sure it’s out of stupidity because I have worked in the automotive field where I went through headlight checks and when people were asked to toggle their headlights between bright and dim the answer I got 90% of the time was “they come on automatically”. Yes, they may come on by themselves but here’s a clue for you idiots–you CAN still dim and/or brighten your headlights, you’re just too stupid to know how to do it. Most vehicles come with this neat little thing called an OWNER’S MANUAL and it is written for dummies just like you and it even has pictures to teach you how to DIM YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS! Take 2 seconds and FIGURE IT OUT!

Here’s how it goes for those of you who have forgotten:

When it’s dark out and your headlights are on if you see a little bright (usually blue) dot showing in about the 55 mph area or in the center of the speedometer that means your headlights are on BRIGHT. Here’s a clue: bright dot equals bright lights!

Now comes the hard part:

Always remember bright dot equals bright lights

You’re driving along and you meet another car and you see the bright dot which means your lights are on bright.

You need to use the dimmer switch (lever) that comes standard in your vehicle to dim your lights. If you push or pull (depending on the vehicle make) this lever, the little bright light near your speedometer GOES OUT LIKE MAGIC then that means your headlights are now on DIM. WOW!!!!

Congratulations, you’re not blinding the oncoming driver any more.

Now for a little more much needed assistance: When the oncoming vehicle has gone past you, you can again put your headlights on bright BUT when you meet another car, you need to repeat the steps and dim your lights again.

Not only is dimming your headlights a really nice and courteous thing to do, it’s also THE LAW.

Stop blinding me you stupid fuckers!

What the fuck is with you stupid swerving fuckers?!  Why is it that so many drivers cannot make a turn without swerving in the opposite driection of their turn?  I am sick to death of people who swerve left when they are turning right and right when turning left like they are driving a fucking semi when in fact they’re driving a fucking cracker box pregnant roller skate (AKA Toyota Echo, Chevy Aveo, etc.)!  You should go back to driving school if you think that you need to swerve the opposite direction of the way you’re turning!

Here’s how it’s suppose to work for those of you who have forgotten:

step 1   turn on appropriate turning signal
step 2   if making a right turn stay right
step 3   if making a left turn stay left in YOUR OWN LANE
step 4   make turn coordinating with turning signal
step 5   do not swerve in the opposite direction you are turning you fucking idiots!

How hard is this?