The other night when I went to pick my husband up from work, I was driving at about 45 when I saw a deer coming from the right so I slowed way down and it ran across to the left. I looked right again to make sure there were no more deer and started to go. Just as I started to go I saw a flash out of the far right corner of my eye and a deer ran into the back side of my car THUD!

I have a huge dent now complete with deer hair. I could turn it in to my insurance but by the time I do that, I’ll have a much higher premium so I guess I have to live with the dent.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

On Friday I was driving and there was a truck pulling a boat then another car in front of me. They were going about 55 and on this road there are a lot of boat landings and turn lanes for them. As I approached, I saw that the truck was in the turning lane for one of the boat landings so i didn’t slow down. Not smart I guess seeing that the car that was following the truck decided to do a FULL STOP IN THE HIGHWAY next to the truck and boat! I slammed on the horn and brakes all at the same time and it was like the stupid fuck in the car had a light bulb moment and decided to push the gas pedal. I don’t know what the fuck this stupid asshole thought he was doing but OMG I was pissed.

Needless to say, I soon went past him with my middle finger flying in salute to his lack of driving ability. This moron then thought it would be a good idea to speed up and tailgate me. BAD IDEA! I have a strategy I employ with tailgaters like that…………I slam on the brakes and go from 60 to 30 in very short order. Needless to say, this gave him an OMG moment of his own and from then on, he stayed off my ass!

Stupid asshole!

Here we go again!

I had the displeasure of being behind this stupid asshole in this giant diesel guzzling pick up truck today. As if it isn’t bad enough that he appeared to be about 90, he couldn’t even see over the fucking dash of the truck! To top that off, the stupid asshole was leaned over in his truck talking on the goddamn phone while trying unsuccessfully to drive. The stupid fucker stopped at not 1 but 2 GREEN lights when I was behind him and made me have a nice long wait because of it at the second light! Needless to say, we both ended up waiting because the light turned red thanks to dick fuck sitting there when it was green! Then, about 3 blocks up the road the asshole just STOPPED in front of me and after he was stopped he decided to turn on his signal!

Stupid old fucking asshole shouldn’t even have a license let alone a one ton battering ram truck that he can’t see over the dash to drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hell where to even start?!

I swear that most people I encounter on the road must have gotten their licenses from a cracker jacks box or gum ball machine!!!!

Today people seemed to be really confused by what turn lanes are used for especially when making right hand turns, you know….those that are TO THE RIGHT of the lane when you are going to make a RIGHT turn? Those convenient little lanes made and blacktopped so that you can move to the right to turn right and GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD?! Well, apparently no one else does either! Why the hell don’t people use these lanes and get the hell out of the flow of traffic?! Do they WANT to have an accident? Is this why they refuse to move the hell over?

It’s a conspiracy, I swear!!

I guess I notice weird things when I’m driving and meet other vehicles. I notice license plates and I notice other drivers. It is incredible to me the number of people that drive down the road with their mouth just hanging open. What’s up with that?! Are they waiting for the bugs to fly in or what? It’s actually not just while driving I have noticed people with their mouths just hanging open. I notice people walking around the grocery store–mouths agape. WHY?! They’re not talking to someone, they’re not even talking to themselves. They’re just there out in lala land with their yap gapping.

Close that fucker–the bugs will get in!

I went to get gas today and I have the luxury of being close enough to go to Iowa and get gas at a much lower (23 cents a gallon) price than here. This particular station is the only one in town and is always busy because everyone goes there from here to get cheaper gas.

Here’s my issue……..because this station is busy and always has many cars waiting why is it that people are too stupid to use their debit card outside to make it a little quicker for those waiting?! OH MY GOD and the old people are the worst! It takes them 10 minutes to figure out how to run the pump because it must be the first time they’ve ever done it and then it takes them forever to pump the gas and then they have to toddle inside and pay making everyone else wait! FUCKING MORONS!! In this day and age, I cannot believe these old fuckers don’t have a debit card, it’s just that they’re too stupid and inconsiderate to use the fucking thing. Today there were 8 cars waiting to get to the pumps and 6 cars at the pumps already. These people need to get a clue. USE THE CARD OUTSIDE and get the fuck going!

YOU STUPID SWERVING FUCKERS!

What the fuck is with you stupid swerving fuckers?! Why is it that so many drivers cannot make a turn without swerving in the opposite direction of their turn? I am sick to death of people who swerve left when they are turning right and right when turning left like they are driving a fucking semi when in fact they’re driving a fucking cracker box pregnant roller skate (AKA Toyota Echo, Chevy Aveo, etc.)! You should go back to driving school if you think that you need to swerve the opposite direction of the way you’re turning!

Here’s how it’s suppose to work for those of you who have forgotten:

step 1 turn on appropriate turning signal
step 2 if making a right turn stay right
step 3 if making a left turn stay left in YOUR OWN LANE
step 4 make turn coordinating with turning signal
step 5 do not swerve in the opposite direction you are turning you fucking idiots!

How hard is this?

As my husband said today, he didn’t know there were so many out of work semi drivers.

WHAT IS IT with people who make exaggerated movements while driving?! Here’s an example of what I mean. If there is a car pulled off the road ALL THE WAY onto the shoulder and no where near the driving lane, why do people have to SWERVE way out around that car? That is so fucking stupid! I see this all the time. Today, I was pulled over on the shoulder, actually, on the grass beyond the shoulder and some fucking idiot comes along and slams the brakes and swerves way into the other lane. HELLOOOOOOOOOOO WHY?! People are so fucking stupid when it comes to driving I have to wonder if they really did get their license from a cracker jacks box.

People who drive with their turning signal on just piss me off!!! How can you idiots stand that???? Further, how can you NOT notice that your turn signal is on and the light in the dash blinking at you? Do you never look at the speedometer?? Do you have any fucking clue how annoying it is to be following someone who has their signal on. You never know what the stupid fucker is going to do. Eventually they have to turn and will still have to no clue they’ve been blink blink blinking for the last 3 fucking miles!

IDIOTS!

Once again I have to say–stupid fuckers!!!!

What is it with you people who insist on hitting your brakes at a GREEN LIGHT??????  What the fuck do you think GREEN is for??  GREEN MEANS GO not hit the fucking brakes!

If you are one of the people who insist on hitting the brakes at a green light please get a baseball bat and put it next to you while you are driving.  Each and every time you approach a green light and are even tempted to hit the brake pedal, hit yourself with the baseball bat.  Eventually you stupid fuckers will learn that you shouldn’t hit the brakes at a green light!