Who know that there could be so many mental midgets compacted into one small area?!

Once again as part of my job I have to send out letters to people. They aren’t nice letters but I didn’t write it, I’m just the sender but of course because I sign the letters, the mental midgets again think that *I* “personally” have done something to them.

This not news, I’ve bitched about this exact thing before. The irony this time though is that one of the mental midgets who is bitching at me now is one of the same people who, one year ago directed, me to send the same letters to others! It seems that now that the shoe is on the other foot, this mental midget has taken on the mindset that I have done something to him!

How stupid can you really be? I really have to wonder how people like that stay living for as long as they have. Surely it must be difficult for them to talk and breathe at the same time too! Seriously! I am so tired of these mental midgets.

Way back when ago–last December to be exact–I applied online at Best Buy for a Rewardzone Master Card. The application was approved but the credit limit wasn’t given nor was the fact that there was an ridiculous annual fee for having the card.

The forms did say that if you accepted the card but did not use it, you could cancel without any fees.

This is where I say that if monkeys flew out my fucking ass I’d be a circus attraction too.

I have been fighting since getting this fucking card from hell to cancel it!

When I got the card and all related paperwork I found that the annual fee for the “privelege” of having the card was $79!!!!

I never used the card, I immediately got on the phone and requested the card be canceled and I promptly shredded the thing.

In January I got a statement showing the annual card fee but I figured that was just a cross in the mail situation but I did call and was told the card was already canceled and that the fees would be taken care of and I would be sent a zero balance statement in February.

Each month I have gotten a monthly billing from this card with additional fees every month for late charges (on the annual card fee). I shit you not! I have called each month and each and every time some speakynofuckingenglais person tells me they’ll take care of it.

Once again, IF MONKEYS FLEW OUT MY ASS I WOULD BE A CIRCUS ATTRACTION!

This month when the statement came I decided to get just a little more fucking pissy about this situation seeing that these assholes are reporting me to the credit bureaus for not paying something that I shouldn’t have to pay anyway therefore fucking up my credit!

I called today and asked for a supervisor or manager. I was put on hold for about 10 minutes and then CUT OFF. That of course pissed me off even more so I called back and proceeded to get REALLY PISSY with the speakynofuckingenglais that answered the phone. He tried to tell me he could take care of it and get the credits issued and I said NO–I’ve been told this for four months and it doesn’t happen, you obviously have to clue, I want someone higher up. So another speakynofuckingenglais gets on the phone and tells me it’s all taken care of and that in 48 hours (heard this story before) I can call and they will tell me the balance is zero. I told the woman that this is the same story I have been told the past 4 months and when she started to tell me something more I just interrupted with YEAH–heard it before. At the end of the conversation I told her that this is the LAST call I will make, that they are committing fraud by continuing to bill me, and that the next thing they hear will be from an attorney on my behalf.

I am also going to report them to the DATCP.

I just have to wonder how many people they scam into paying them just to get this whole mess to go away!

Heads up fuckers–*I* am not someone you can scam!

Well I’m sure you knew this was coming eventually. My bitches about all my hospital fun.

My biggest bitch–make that BITCH–is about Dr. Babydoll. I had this woman as part of the team of doctor’s during my surgery. This woman is pretty on the outside–gorgeous actually. But on the inside, not so much as I would find out.

I met Dr. Babydoll in the pre-op area. She seemed nice then, introduced herself, explained what was going to happen next, introduced me to the anesthesiologist and all seemed fine.

My surgery was on a Friday, they took me to surgery at 6 a.m. and were done at 4 p.m. I don’t remember much of Friday but what I do remember is the hell part of this post. When I awoke I had a god awful migraine and of course felt horrible. They had an oxygen mask on me which I fought to get off my face. There were 4 different hands trying to keep that thing on me and I fought them all and got it off. I was on fire, in pain, couldn’t breath, had a migraine complete with thumping head and nausea not to mention that I had just had my head cut open and a hole drilled through my skull!!! They kept saying you have to leave that on (the oxygen) and at that point I could only say 1 word sentences that were: HOT, MIGRAINE, BREATHE, SICK, MIGRAINE, HOT, BREATHE, SICK, PILL, MIGRAINE, DRINK, THIRSTY, MIGRAINE, and my favorite. UH OH. They did finally come up with some kind of a fan that felt like a snake light with a fan in the end. I say felt like because for 2 days I wasn’t able to open my eyes because I couldn’t focus, my eyes were jumping like frogs and I couldn’t see anything anyway.

The rest of what I remember of Friday is my brother and sister-in-law, sister, and husband being there and me crying because I was in such pain. I remember my family leaving for the night and I was still in the ICU. The nurses were in a lot and I was so ill and still couldn’t talk. I remember them moving me up in the bed and the IVs and oxygen with the nose type, not the mask. At one point when the nurses were in and moved me they learned what UH OH was. They moved me around with my migraine and I started saying uh oh uh oh uh oh. They said you have to tell us what’s uh oh. The found out uh oh is I’m going to throw up! I remember puking all over some poor nurse She was very nice about it. I remember her saying that’s ok you had to get that anesthesia out of there. I had several uh oh’s throughout the night but it was dry heaves due to the migraine.

I remember on Saturday some doctors came in and decided I could move to my regular room. Then came all of the discussion on how they were going to move me. I told them I could transfer beds myself as they were having a big discussion about how to move the big lady. My husband held my hand while I got myself up and moved to the other bed that they moved me in then moved to the bed in my room. I had the catheter, oxygen, and IVs yet. The only thing I lost was the bandage off my head which wasn’t suppose to be off yet but due to all my thrashing, it had come off. I have to say that as mortified as I was about having a catheter it was a god send. It wasn’t painful and given the condition I was in there was no way in hell I would ever have been able to get to the bathroom and bed pans + fat people = not happening.

So now it’s Saturday and I still can’t function. I was absolutely miserable yet. I still had the migraine and was in pain from the surgery too. I remember very little of Saturday other than moving rooms and lots of nurses changing IVs and checking my oxygen level and saying that it was still low and adjusting the oxygen. I remember my family being there and hearing them talk but I remember little else from Saturday. I do remember telling my brother and sister-in-law that they didn’t have stay overnight again, that I would be ok and I remember them leaving for home.

Come Sunday my memory improved and that’s when I came to despise Dr. Babydoll.

Dr. Babydoll came in and I was sitting in a chair. My sister and husband were in the room at the time and Dr. Babydoll started bitching at me. She said look at you, here you sit you still have a catheter and oxygen. You didn’t come in here with those and you shouldn’t have them, you need to off those and up walking by now. I opened my eyes a little bit and looked at her and said HEY I agree with you but I didn’t do it! I didn’t ask for this stuff, you guys put it on me. She just repeated that I shouldn’t still have it and that I needed to be walking because the bottoms of my lungs weren’t expanded and that’s why I still had the oxygen. My husband said I’m not fucking having her fall down, there’s no walker or anything here so she can have something to hold onto to try to walk, how the fuck is she suppose to walk when you haven’t provided those things. I know she mumbled something about seeing about getting a walker or something and left after my husband bitched at her.

What I really wanted to say and should have said was HOW THE FUCK do you expect me to move when I can’t even see?! Needless to say, Dr. Babydoll became a real problem.

I do have to say that I understand that the biggest part of the recovery process from surgery is frequent short walks and I understand that; however, to bitch at me about things they did to me is beyond ridiculous. That woman had a real attitude problem and come Monday I would find out what it was.

There were 2 other doctors who came in daily at 6 a.m. and would flip on the brightest lights in the room and say open your eyes and follow my finger. Funny stuff but true. As of Sunday morning, the one had told me I had a condition with my eyes because of surgery and he HOPED it would clear up with time. I don’t recall what he said it was called but the gist of it was that my eyes would not move in the proper direction. The whole follow my finger thing was to see if I could in fact follow his finger with my eyes, I couldn’t. They were each going separate directions and jumping, literally! I couldn’t focus on anything because of the jumping. Evidently this is a common condition following this type of surgery. Therein again it is a good time to ask, how the FUCK can I walk when I cannot focus my eyes and can’t see a fucking thing?!

I did go for a short walk on Sunday because miraculously they came up with a walker after my husband bitched at Dr. Babydoll. The walker thing didn’t work out for me and it went better just holding my husband than the walker but I did humor them and go for a walk though I spent most of the time dozing off and feeling nauseous. Though my family was there, I don’t think I talked to them much because I was just too out of it.

On Monday, Dr. Babydoll came in bright and early in the morning before my husband was there and started in bitching again telling me that the catheter was going to come out that day (the oxygen was already off–I did that myself) and and then she proceeded to tell me that they were sending me home Tuesday. I WAS MORTIFIED! I knew that I was absolutely not ready to leave the hospital and I was scared to death that I would end up in the local podunksville hospital where they’d just kill me off. When my husband got there, I was in an absolute panic that they were going to kick me out of the hospital because she said so and she wasn’t even my main doctor.

This is when my brain really kicked in even if the rest of me didn’t.

I decided that I was going to request to have her taken off my team and that I wasn’t going to take her shit any more. I don’t know who she thought she was making such decisions anyway.

That afternoon (Monday) my husband went back to the hotel for a nap and of course that’s when Dr. Babydoll came back in. The first thing she did was start to bitch about me still having a catheter. I told her I had asked numerous times throughout the day (which I had) to have it taken out and they told me there was no order–she said OH that was probably her fault, she would check to see if she had written the order or not. She left for a couple minutes and came back and this is when I learned what her issue was.

She was just dying to have the “you need to lose weight” conversation and tell me that I should have bariatric surgery, etc. etc. As I’ve heard so so sooooooooo many times in my life, she said you’re so much better than this, you’re intelligent and your weight is just holding you back, etc. Yeah yeah yeah, I have the right to be who I am and this is who I am but I agreed with her to get her off my fucking back AND IT WORKED! Her attitude immediately changed once she got that out of her system. Funny that. She’s a young woman and a piss poor doctor as far as I’m concerned because if you don’t fit her ideal, she’s a rag. But seeing that her attitude changed, I told her that I was mortified at the thought of being released on Tuesday that I knew I wasn’t ready and I told her that if she was going to release me on Tuesday she might as well just shoot me in the head and send me to the cattle yard because I would just end up in the small town hospital where they’d kill me off anyway.

She said that she would see how I was doing tomorrow and decide but I cut that off at the pass because my actual doctor and surgeon came in later and I told them she had said she was releasing me Tuesday and they both said no, not Tuesday–maybe Wednesday. That made me feel a lot better.

Though I had to continue to deal with Dr. Babydoll until my release on Wednesday, she was a different woman. As I said, she just needed to get that whole thing out of her system. On Wednesday before my release, she told me that her ultimate goal was to be a facial plastic surgeon so that she was going to another department for the next 3 months. This was the end of her stint with neurosurgery. Why the fuck I had to be cursed with that bitch I don’t know but thankfully no one else who’s had brain surgery will have to deal with her. I think it speaks volumes that she’s going to be a plastic surgeon. It tells me why she’s such a rag and that I was right on the money that if you don’t fit into her ideal then she’s a bitch to you.

In the end, I was released on Wednesday. I was still having the focus problem with my eyes and nausea due to the loss of hearing in one ear from my surgery. I was so happy to have the catheter off so I could get a shower though showering proved to be pretty difficult due to the loss of balance. I took several short walks in the hospital as I was told to do.

The ride home went pretty well. The nurse had said don’t try to power house straight through for 3 hours to get home, make frequent stops or the nausea will get worse. We only ended up stopping once half way through and that was for a bathroom break. My husband did an awesome job of driving in the big city and on the interstate (something which he hates doing) and he did a great job of navigating. Normally I’m the driver and navigator and he’s the side seat driver but given my illness and lack of focus, I wasn’t able to really help him navigate. I did peek my eyes open a couple times in the city to help him get in the right lane for the turn off but that was about it. I was able to help him by him just telling me where we were by landmarks like the mall, Burger King, etc. then I could tell him where he needed to be and how far the next turn was and what lane to be in. For someone who hates driving and gets really nervous with traffic and stoplights, he did great!

I was so happy to get home and get a real shower though showering is interesting when you’re swaying like a drunk. I still had the focus issue even after getting home but I figured out a great way to combat that. I had a word find book and I forced myself to work on the word find. Even though they’re really simple large type ones, it took at least an hour to do 1 puzzle but it really worked and within a day I had gotten my focus back for the most part.

My recovery continues. I’m still not short frequent walking enough (fat-lazy) but my balance is getting better. I still have dizziness issues but as I walk more that will go away.

This whole experience has been an interesting one and it’s taught me a lot. I know one thing–I would NEVER volunteer to have any kind of surgery EVER EVER again. If I’m not going to die without having surgery then I’m not having it. Even if I had thought about bariatric surgery there is NO FUCKING WAY I would EVER do it, not in a million years! I have had enough surgery to last me a lifetime!