I’ve been told three times now “it does happen”. Well obviously since it has happened morons!

I get my electric bill via email–not paper bill–for both of my houses. Last week, I got a notice of the bill and knew the date was off so I went to check it out only to find that it said “final bill”. I was like WTF do you mean final bill, I didn’t request to have my electricity shut off! Granted, we’re rarely ever there, but when we are, we want electricity.

So I call the moron patrol Alliant Energy to find out WTF is up with this–did they decide because there’s hardly any usage they were going to cut me off or what. OH NO, it’s even better than that!

They said that someone called in and said that they were moving to that address so I was issued a final bill and the name on the account was changed. I said NO–no one is moving there–that’s MY house, it’s NOT a rental-! Then the fucking moron says there’s no landlord of record for that address. I said OF COURSE NOT–it’s NOT A RENTAL–THAT’S MY HOUSE. She then went on to say (like it’s no big deal) that someone must’ve given a wrong address when they called in the change and because it is a common address “it happens”.

I do not find that answer acceptable. Where is my right to privacy, etc. How the hell can someone just randomly call in and change a name on an account like that? I don’t get it.

After hanging up with moron #1 and stewing a while, I called back to moron #2 only to get the same song and dance that someone made a mistake, it’s a common address, etc. I asked her what about my right to privacy and asked why I, as the owner, wasn’t notified of this change. She just nonchalantly said that they couldn’t possibly call everyone when there was a change or they wouldn’t get anything else done. I really think she just wanted to piss me off by saying that! To me, there should be a department that handles this–the owner should be notified especially since “there is no landlord of record”. How stupid!

I was told by morons 1 & 2 that the account would be put back in my name and it was no big deal. Well, I know Alliant–another legal monopoly that I detest–NOTHING is ever “no big deal” with them and I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Today, I got an email saying the above referenced account is currently being electronically billed and paid using ‘Your e-Bill’. Recently, this account was turned off at your request. Therefore, the ‘Your e-Bill’ option has been terminated and any future scheduled payments have been canceled.

OH LOOK–ANOTHER WTF MOMENT!

So I call back AGAIN to moron #3. This time I was told that although the account had been put back in my name, it was issued a new account number and that I would have enroll that account in the ebill service again. I once again expressed my extreme displeasure with this situation and included the fact that I feel my privacy has been violated and asked again how someone can just call and a make a change like this and to my shock (not) I was told again that “it does happen” that a wrong address is given, etc. and that they can’t call to verify the changes, etc. Their typical load of shit. I said so in other words, because of someone else’s mistake, I have to mess with paying my bill by check, mailing it in, etc. Not that it’s a big deal to do that, it’s not, it’s the idea of WHY I have to do it. That someone else’s mistake has caused me a headache.

To further that, I cannot understand how this could really happen anyway. Obviously the person who called to request the change is moving somewhere with the same address as my house, but not in my town–there’s only one address per house after all. So my question remains, how can this happen? One of two things should have prevented this. A. The person calling should have known not only the address but also the name of the city and/or zip code to where they were moving AND B. The person at Alliant taking the call should have verified not only the address but the city and/or zip code. In short, in my eyes, a “mistake” like this should never happen and someone (probably Alliant) fucked up big time.

I guess in the end I should have not said anything and let them bill the new guy for my electricity.

I’m sure that this isn’t done yet, I’m just waiting for Alliant to tell me I have to pay a reconnect fee. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

When we moved to this too much–too far house, we put in a 6 foot high board fence because our neighbors are not desirable and they were constantly gawking over here to see what we are doing. You would think a 6 foot high fence would cure that problem but apparently not so much!

Yesterday we bought a new washing machine and left it outside for the night still boxed and covered with a tarp because we didn’t want to deal with it until today.

My husband JUST took the old washer outside and loaded it on the trailer to haul away and the neighbor showed up around the fence asking if the old washer worked and wanting to know if they could buy it because their washing machine just died.

HOLY CRAP! I need a taller fence!

As a side note–we told them they could have our old washer. It still works but it’s no the greatest any more. We were just taking it to be disposed of any way so what the hell.

Since mememe has been gone that has meant that my sister-in-law had to take care of her own kid. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that memememe takes care of the kid for nothing 5-6 days a week (and sometimes Sunday too) as well as buy all his diapers and got knows what else.

Well, once meme announced that she was going to be gone for 2 weeks, my sister-in-law THREW A FIT about how she wasn’t going to waste her vacation to stay home with her son! As it has turned out, she did end up staying home a few days with him; however, she did also take him to a day care for a few days too. I talked to meme junior yesterday and she went on and on about how it cost $30 a day to take him to day care and how that money would pay a payment on something and on and on.

OH MY GOD!

As someone who was never able to have children (though I didn’t necessarily want any), I just cannot fathom the attitude. If I would have been lucky enough to have a child, I just do not think I’d feel that #1 my vacation time would be wasted if I spent it with my little one; #2 that the cost of day care wasn’t worth it because I could pay a payment on some toy for myself; and #3 that leaving him with my mother-in-law would be preferable to either of the other 2 options.

After I hung up with my sister-in-law and replayed the conversation in my head I realized, the selfish apple sure doesn’t fall far from the selfish tree in that family! Cripes!

Well isn’t this just a fucking hoot?!

My husband’s sister called me today asking me to take care of mememememememes dog Friday night and Saturday because she is going camping and mommy dearest won’t be back from her cruise.

I *should* have said FUCK NO but I said I would, idiot that I am.

**UPDATE**
I didn’t end up doing this–mememememememe made it back!

HOLY SHIT!

I guess I’m misinformed or if I’m not someone else seriously is.

Today in the local gas station there was an agenda laying on the counter for a special school board meeting. I picked it up when I noticed that item 1 on the agenda is Pledge of Allegiance.

WTF?! Is that even legal?

You know you play Guild Wars too much when you are sitting in the McDonald’s drive up and notice the license plate of the vehicle in front of you is BDS-479 and immediately think Bone Dragon Staff.

Just sayin…..

Oh where to start! It’s about mememememememememe so it should be no shock that I am not fucking happy.

While I was in the hospital she came to our house and fed our cats and dogs, which was very nice of her to do. I offered to pay her for coming over (an 8 mile round trip) and she said no and it was left at that. I thanked her for taking care of the pets and also sent her a thank you card.

Fast Forward…..
Next week (and I hope she gets lost and never fucking comes back!) memememememe and new man are going on a cruise (LOLOLOL–talk about a fish out of water tactless cow) so she asked me if I would take care of her dog and birds while she is gone. I told her I didn’t think it was very nice for her dog to only be let out only a couple times a day and asked about her putting him outside since she has an outdoor kennel. She said he would be ok only being let out a couple times a day so I said ok, no problem (since I owe her anyway). I asked her about feeding the birds and she said they only needed fed every other day and I said that’s fine, you’ll have to show me what to do–I don’t DO birds (meaning I don’t like house birds) and asked about cleaning their cages while she is gone and she said they wouldn’t need to be cleaned. As we left it, she was going to give me a key and I was going to go and care for her animals.

The day after she called asking me this, she called back and told my husband (MR. NOBALLS) that I wouldn’t need to do it, she’d asked her son-in-law to do it because he goes right past her house every day.

I don’t CARE that I was kicked off pet duty but I didn’t know why she went and asked him to do what I was already going to do. After stewing on this for a couple days, I called my sister-in-law and asked her why her husband was going to taking care of the dog instead of me and she tried to get a little pissy with me and asked “do you really want to go into this”? I say yes–what’s the deal. Well, memememememe went and told them that I WOULDN’T do it. PISS ME OFF–that’s such a fucking lie.

What I said I wouldn’t do was bring her dog to my house and have him outside with my other dogs, I never said I wouldn’t care for him at her house but as usual, when she doesn’t get what she wants she runs telling lies to play the martyr.

Last night I talked to my other sister-in-law and got the same story about caring for the pets only this time memememe told her that she could tell in my voice that I didn’t want to do and that I said I wouldn’t do the birds!

Immediately, I am more pissed off than I was before about the situation and though I am trying to take into account “consider the source” I know that the “source” is consequently telling anyone she talks to how I won’t take care of her animals and all this after she took care of mine while I was in the hospital. She also went on to tell both sister-in-laws how she does everything for other people and no one will do anything for her. First off, she doesn’t ask–she demands–that hits a brick wall with her kids (and kids-in-law) so they don’t tend to run when mommy snaps her fingers and if it isn’t done RIGHT NOW then she finds another way to get it done RIGHT NOW even if it includes dragging her family through the mud to whomever she whines into doing it for her.

Last night, I talked to MR. NOBALLS (my husband) and gave him the standard speech–if you don’t talk to you mother about this I will and if I do–you won’t like it and neither will she.

Now, seeing he has the name MR NOBALLS how do you suppose that went?!

I asked him today if he called his mother and he said no, you’re going to call her and talk to her about it. I said, NO, MR. NOBALLS I’m not! He then said it had nothing to do with him. BIG MISTAKE! I said STICK UP FOR YOUR WIFE MR. NOBALLS! He just said well, you know how mom is, this is what she does. I said BULLSHIT–if people would quit accepting that from her and call her on her lie telling maybe she’d fucking quit it.

Needless to say, he isn’t going to do anything about it and I call her it will be an endless unload because god knows there’s a boatload of things I’ve been waiting years to say to her!

Only have 1 or 2 friends, you’d think that I would want to keep them right. Yeah–not so much though. I have one “friend” that I am particularly tired of. I’m tired of her snide remarks, tired of her questioning anything I do, etc. It’s just old and played out.

Mind you, this is the same person who feels the need to go tell others when she “hears” their spouse is having an affair yet she herself is having an affair with a married man. Isn’t it funny how that works though.

Today I started distancing myself from her because quite frankly, if I don’t, she won’t like what I am going to say to her and she’s really not worth all the breath it would take tell her off!

Who know that there could be so many mental midgets compacted into one small area?!

Once again as part of my job I have to send out letters to people. They aren’t nice letters but I didn’t write it, I’m just the sender but of course because I sign the letters, the mental midgets again think that *I* “personally” have done something to them.

This not news, I’ve bitched about this exact thing before. The irony this time though is that one of the mental midgets who is bitching at me now is one of the same people who, one year ago directed, me to send the same letters to others! It seems that now that the shoe is on the other foot, this mental midget has taken on the mindset that I have done something to him!

How stupid can you really be? I really have to wonder how people like that stay living for as long as they have. Surely it must be difficult for them to talk and breathe at the same time too! Seriously! I am so tired of these mental midgets.

Way back when ago–last December to be exact–I applied online at Best Buy for a Rewardzone Master Card. The application was approved but the credit limit wasn’t given nor was the fact that there was an ridiculous annual fee for having the card.

The forms did say that if you accepted the card but did not use it, you could cancel without any fees.

This is where I say that if monkeys flew out my fucking ass I’d be a circus attraction too.

I have been fighting since getting this fucking card from hell to cancel it!

When I got the card and all related paperwork I found that the annual fee for the “privelege” of having the card was $79!!!!

I never used the card, I immediately got on the phone and requested the card be canceled and I promptly shredded the thing.

In January I got a statement showing the annual card fee but I figured that was just a cross in the mail situation but I did call and was told the card was already canceled and that the fees would be taken care of and I would be sent a zero balance statement in February.

Each month I have gotten a monthly billing from this card with additional fees every month for late charges (on the annual card fee). I shit you not! I have called each month and each and every time some speakynofuckingenglais person tells me they’ll take care of it.

Once again, IF MONKEYS FLEW OUT MY ASS I WOULD BE A CIRCUS ATTRACTION!

This month when the statement came I decided to get just a little more fucking pissy about this situation seeing that these assholes are reporting me to the credit bureaus for not paying something that I shouldn’t have to pay anyway therefore fucking up my credit!

I called today and asked for a supervisor or manager. I was put on hold for about 10 minutes and then CUT OFF. That of course pissed me off even more so I called back and proceeded to get REALLY PISSY with the speakynofuckingenglais that answered the phone. He tried to tell me he could take care of it and get the credits issued and I said NO–I’ve been told this for four months and it doesn’t happen, you obviously have to clue, I want someone higher up. So another speakynofuckingenglais gets on the phone and tells me it’s all taken care of and that in 48 hours (heard this story before) I can call and they will tell me the balance is zero. I told the woman that this is the same story I have been told the past 4 months and when she started to tell me something more I just interrupted with YEAH–heard it before. At the end of the conversation I told her that this is the LAST call I will make, that they are committing fraud by continuing to bill me, and that the next thing they hear will be from an attorney on my behalf.

I am also going to report them to the DATCP.

I just have to wonder how many people they scam into paying them just to get this whole mess to go away!

Heads up fuckers–*I* am not someone you can scam!